melancholy
Die Hoffnung schon erfüllt die Brust...
Title: Ebony and Ivory
Summary: What, if Bellatrix had survived the war? What, if she had seen her master die, unable to rescue him? What, if she were not as strong, as cold as she always pretended to be, if she were falling? Falling, into a deep, black abyss, with nothing to hold on to... And what, if the only person to save her were her sister?
Characters/Pairings: Bellatrix Lestrange, Narcissa Malfoy; gen
Genre: Drama
Rating/Warnings: PG-13; angst and probably like tons of kitsch
Word Count: 1635
3.35 a.m. Even her third look on the clock didn’t change anything about the time. 3.35 a.m. She had never slept much, had never been tired enough to go to sleep before two or three in the morning, but now she desired nothing more than to finally be able to sleep. She would not start to take Sleep Potion night by night, like her sister sometimes did in secret, although she knew, that this was the only option to get some rest. But she was too proud to admit that she needed help, even when it was just about herself. Too proud to admit that she was not able to cope.
The door to her room opened, quietly, and Narcissa entered the room. She looked pale like a ghost, her hands were trembling. Still. After over a month.
They had not talked much in the past few weeks, unable to go on like before. Too much had happened during the war.
But Narcissa came to look after her every night, sat down on her bed and took her hand. Bellatrix had always pretended to be asleep, but of course her sister knew that she wasn’t. Although she remained quiet every day, as if nothing had happened.
"Are you sure you don’t want to take some potion, Bella?" Narcissa asked, lying a tiny vial filled with a purple liquid carefully on her pillow. It had taken her a while to realize that Bellatrix’ eyes were opened. But she just shook her head. "It wouldn’t make things better anyway, " she answered.
Narcissa sighed, closing her eyes for a second. You need some rest, she wanted to reply, but she knew that it would not make sense. "Fine," she said instead, turning away from her sister, ready to leave the room. "Call me if you change your mind."
Now it was Bellatrix to sigh, to rise, trying to touch her sister’s shoulder. "Cissy..."
"There’s no need to explain, Bella, don’t worry," Narcissa answered, her voice no more than a whisper, but cold, much colder than before. "I know that you still have not discarded your haughtiness. That you’re still too proud to admit that you are not able to bear all this alone, even if it means your certain death. I have learned to overcome my pride to save my and my family’s life, I have learned to ask for help when it was required, and believe me, it almost destroyed me. But it’s alright, Bella... Go on, just go on, I know that you don’t care. It’s alright."
Bellatrix’ whole body started to tremble, but she went on, like nothing had happened, tried to stay calm, to suppress the shake. This time she took Narcissa’s wrist, not thinking of easening the grip, even when she tried to break away from her. "Cissy, please..." she whispered. But Narcissa still refused to look at her. "Narcissa, look at me!"
Finally she turned around, stared at her sister, her eyes wide open, with fright and surprise. She had never seen such an expression in Bellatrix’ face before. "I do care, Cissy," she said, much calmer now, her voice quiet. "Believe me, I do. But what about? Tell me, what shall I still care about, now that I have lost everything? Now that my life does not make sense anymore! Shall I go out and save mudbloods, like you do lately?"
"Don’t you dare use this word in my house!“ Narcissa shouted, hardly able to retain control. “And don’t you dare to ever say this again...“
“What?“ Bellatrix laughed, a cold, hard laugh that made Narcissa’s blood freeze in her veins. “Say what, Narcissa? That I’d rather have died? That I’d rather have died to save my master instead of just... surviving, but being useless for everything, even for sleeping? Is it that you don’t want me to say? Don’t you want me to tell the truth?“
“SHUT YOUR MOUTH! If you don’t shut your mouth immediately, Bellatrix, I promise you I’ll...“
“Don’t threaten me,“ Bellatrix said, now looking for her wand under her pillow. “I advise you to take this seriously, do not threaten me. I may have never harmed you before, but believe me, this does not mean I won’t be able to in future.“
“So you’d kill me?“ Narcissa asked, quietly, hardly able to breathe, too horrified by what she heard. “Or what would you do to me? Torture me, like you tortured the Aurors? Torture me until I lose my mind? Or until I die?“
Silence.
“Tell me, Bella, is it that? Look into my eyes and tell me you’d do it, you’d be able to do it! Look into my eyes and tell me that you’d be able to kill your own sister!“
Bellatrix did not respond. But she stood there, motionless, looking at Narcissa, holding her gaze, while playing with her wand in her hands. She did not respond, but silence was response enough. Yes.
“Then we’re done,“ Narcissa said, turning away from her, her eyes wet with tears. She left the room, as quietly as she had entered it, the vial with Sleep Potion still lying on her sister’s bed.
Days had passed. Days had passed and they had not talked, had not even looked at each other. Bellatrix had not left her room, but it was only her presence that made Narcissa feel worse than she had ever felt before in her life.
Ebony and ivory. Everyone had called them ebony and ivory once, even their parents, who had never given their children pet names. They had been inseparably, even though they couldn’t be more different. Bellatrix, who was constantly seeking adventure, wild and brave, her long, black hair flowing in the wind when she was running. No one would ever know that she was Narcissa’s sister. Narcissa, the lady, calm and fragile, but at the same time incredibly proud. She cared a lot about her looks, especially about her hair, that was shining in an almost transparent light blond colour.
They had been best friends, even when they were already grown up. And they had still kept their nicknames. Ebony and ivory.
But now, everything was different. Had changed in only one night, their friendship had broken in one night, after all these years.
She had never thought this would be possible, had never even dared to think about what would happen, if...
Narcissa turned around, opened the door to Bellatrix’ room, not realizing what she did, as if she had gone into a trance. Her sister was lying on her bed, her eyes closed, as if she were dead, the little vial right next to her. Empty.
“What do you want?“ Bellatrix rose, took a step forward, reaching a hand out for her sister, but she immediately closed her eyes. Turned away from her. She did not dare speaking a word, gasped for breath... Bellatrix’ voice was like a knife, cutting through her skin, through her heart... Narcissa did not want to talk, did not even want to look at her, but she knew that she had no choice.
“I want you to leave,“ she said eventually, her voice trembling. “Quietly. There is no need to say goodbye to anyone of us. If I enter this room again tonight you’ll be gone and I will never see you again in this house. Do you understand?“
“Narcissa, please...“
“Do you understand?“
“Cissy...“
“Don’t call me Cissy! Did I make myself clear, Bellatrix, yes or no?“
“Yes,“ Bellatrix whispered. “Yes, you did...“
“Good,“ Narcissa had already left the room when she suddenly felt a hand, carefully touching her shoulder. She was unable to speak, to move, like her sister had paralyzed her. “I can hear you cry, in the middle of the night...“ Bellatrix said, hardly audible. “You hardly ever talk, even your steps are getting slower every day... Narcissa, please... Look at me...“
Narcissa laughed, a cold, sarcastic laugh. “Why should I?“ she asked, her voice harsh. “Tell me, Bellatrix, why? Don’t you think you have already tortured me enough?“
Bellatrix fastened her grip, forced Narcissa to turn around, to look at her. “Because I am dying, Cissy,“ she whispered. Tears were streaming down her face. Never before had Narcissa seen her sister cry. “I... I can’t go on like this anymore... I am not asking you to forgive me, but please... I need your help... Or I’ll die...“
She would have sunk down on her knees, if Narcissa had not held her, held her trembling body in her arms, suddenly forgetting everything about the fight, forgetting everything about what had happened. She was carefully stroking over her back, over her hair, waiting for her sobs to become silent, for her breath to slowly normalize.
“I’ll be gone by tomorrow night,“ Bellatrix said eventually, after hours had passed, her voice still husky. But Narcissa shook her head. “No,“ she answered. “You’ll stay. I have not forgiven you yet, Bella, but I will, I promise you I will. We’ll go through this together.“
She came to look after her every night. Bringing her potion, watching over her sleep and holding her hand until she fell asleep herself. Dreamt of how it would be if she had lost her. Dreamt of how desperately she would try to cope, of how empty her life would be...
She’d not be able to go on without her sister, not even after she had hurt her more than a curse or a knife would ever be able to. And she’d forgive her. Of course she’d forgive her, like she always forgave her. Everything. She’d help her go through all this, would help her leaving the past behind. Would help her survive.
Because ebony and ivory would stay together, not matter about what happened. Would stay together forever.
Summary: What, if Bellatrix had survived the war? What, if she had seen her master die, unable to rescue him? What, if she were not as strong, as cold as she always pretended to be, if she were falling? Falling, into a deep, black abyss, with nothing to hold on to... And what, if the only person to save her were her sister?
Characters/Pairings: Bellatrix Lestrange, Narcissa Malfoy; gen
Genre: Drama
Rating/Warnings: PG-13; angst and probably like tons of kitsch
Word Count: 1635
Ebony and Ivory
3.35 a.m. Even her third look on the clock didn’t change anything about the time. 3.35 a.m. She had never slept much, had never been tired enough to go to sleep before two or three in the morning, but now she desired nothing more than to finally be able to sleep. She would not start to take Sleep Potion night by night, like her sister sometimes did in secret, although she knew, that this was the only option to get some rest. But she was too proud to admit that she needed help, even when it was just about herself. Too proud to admit that she was not able to cope.
The door to her room opened, quietly, and Narcissa entered the room. She looked pale like a ghost, her hands were trembling. Still. After over a month.
They had not talked much in the past few weeks, unable to go on like before. Too much had happened during the war.
But Narcissa came to look after her every night, sat down on her bed and took her hand. Bellatrix had always pretended to be asleep, but of course her sister knew that she wasn’t. Although she remained quiet every day, as if nothing had happened.
"Are you sure you don’t want to take some potion, Bella?" Narcissa asked, lying a tiny vial filled with a purple liquid carefully on her pillow. It had taken her a while to realize that Bellatrix’ eyes were opened. But she just shook her head. "It wouldn’t make things better anyway, " she answered.
Narcissa sighed, closing her eyes for a second. You need some rest, she wanted to reply, but she knew that it would not make sense. "Fine," she said instead, turning away from her sister, ready to leave the room. "Call me if you change your mind."
Now it was Bellatrix to sigh, to rise, trying to touch her sister’s shoulder. "Cissy..."
"There’s no need to explain, Bella, don’t worry," Narcissa answered, her voice no more than a whisper, but cold, much colder than before. "I know that you still have not discarded your haughtiness. That you’re still too proud to admit that you are not able to bear all this alone, even if it means your certain death. I have learned to overcome my pride to save my and my family’s life, I have learned to ask for help when it was required, and believe me, it almost destroyed me. But it’s alright, Bella... Go on, just go on, I know that you don’t care. It’s alright."
Bellatrix’ whole body started to tremble, but she went on, like nothing had happened, tried to stay calm, to suppress the shake. This time she took Narcissa’s wrist, not thinking of easening the grip, even when she tried to break away from her. "Cissy, please..." she whispered. But Narcissa still refused to look at her. "Narcissa, look at me!"
Finally she turned around, stared at her sister, her eyes wide open, with fright and surprise. She had never seen such an expression in Bellatrix’ face before. "I do care, Cissy," she said, much calmer now, her voice quiet. "Believe me, I do. But what about? Tell me, what shall I still care about, now that I have lost everything? Now that my life does not make sense anymore! Shall I go out and save mudbloods, like you do lately?"
"Don’t you dare use this word in my house!“ Narcissa shouted, hardly able to retain control. “And don’t you dare to ever say this again...“
“What?“ Bellatrix laughed, a cold, hard laugh that made Narcissa’s blood freeze in her veins. “Say what, Narcissa? That I’d rather have died? That I’d rather have died to save my master instead of just... surviving, but being useless for everything, even for sleeping? Is it that you don’t want me to say? Don’t you want me to tell the truth?“
“SHUT YOUR MOUTH! If you don’t shut your mouth immediately, Bellatrix, I promise you I’ll...“
“Don’t threaten me,“ Bellatrix said, now looking for her wand under her pillow. “I advise you to take this seriously, do not threaten me. I may have never harmed you before, but believe me, this does not mean I won’t be able to in future.“
“So you’d kill me?“ Narcissa asked, quietly, hardly able to breathe, too horrified by what she heard. “Or what would you do to me? Torture me, like you tortured the Aurors? Torture me until I lose my mind? Or until I die?“
Silence.
“Tell me, Bella, is it that? Look into my eyes and tell me you’d do it, you’d be able to do it! Look into my eyes and tell me that you’d be able to kill your own sister!“
Bellatrix did not respond. But she stood there, motionless, looking at Narcissa, holding her gaze, while playing with her wand in her hands. She did not respond, but silence was response enough. Yes.
“Then we’re done,“ Narcissa said, turning away from her, her eyes wet with tears. She left the room, as quietly as she had entered it, the vial with Sleep Potion still lying on her sister’s bed.
Days had passed. Days had passed and they had not talked, had not even looked at each other. Bellatrix had not left her room, but it was only her presence that made Narcissa feel worse than she had ever felt before in her life.
Ebony and ivory. Everyone had called them ebony and ivory once, even their parents, who had never given their children pet names. They had been inseparably, even though they couldn’t be more different. Bellatrix, who was constantly seeking adventure, wild and brave, her long, black hair flowing in the wind when she was running. No one would ever know that she was Narcissa’s sister. Narcissa, the lady, calm and fragile, but at the same time incredibly proud. She cared a lot about her looks, especially about her hair, that was shining in an almost transparent light blond colour.
They had been best friends, even when they were already grown up. And they had still kept their nicknames. Ebony and ivory.
But now, everything was different. Had changed in only one night, their friendship had broken in one night, after all these years.
She had never thought this would be possible, had never even dared to think about what would happen, if...
Narcissa turned around, opened the door to Bellatrix’ room, not realizing what she did, as if she had gone into a trance. Her sister was lying on her bed, her eyes closed, as if she were dead, the little vial right next to her. Empty.
“What do you want?“ Bellatrix rose, took a step forward, reaching a hand out for her sister, but she immediately closed her eyes. Turned away from her. She did not dare speaking a word, gasped for breath... Bellatrix’ voice was like a knife, cutting through her skin, through her heart... Narcissa did not want to talk, did not even want to look at her, but she knew that she had no choice.
“I want you to leave,“ she said eventually, her voice trembling. “Quietly. There is no need to say goodbye to anyone of us. If I enter this room again tonight you’ll be gone and I will never see you again in this house. Do you understand?“
“Narcissa, please...“
“Do you understand?“
“Cissy...“
“Don’t call me Cissy! Did I make myself clear, Bellatrix, yes or no?“
“Yes,“ Bellatrix whispered. “Yes, you did...“
“Good,“ Narcissa had already left the room when she suddenly felt a hand, carefully touching her shoulder. She was unable to speak, to move, like her sister had paralyzed her. “I can hear you cry, in the middle of the night...“ Bellatrix said, hardly audible. “You hardly ever talk, even your steps are getting slower every day... Narcissa, please... Look at me...“
Narcissa laughed, a cold, sarcastic laugh. “Why should I?“ she asked, her voice harsh. “Tell me, Bellatrix, why? Don’t you think you have already tortured me enough?“
Bellatrix fastened her grip, forced Narcissa to turn around, to look at her. “Because I am dying, Cissy,“ she whispered. Tears were streaming down her face. Never before had Narcissa seen her sister cry. “I... I can’t go on like this anymore... I am not asking you to forgive me, but please... I need your help... Or I’ll die...“
She would have sunk down on her knees, if Narcissa had not held her, held her trembling body in her arms, suddenly forgetting everything about the fight, forgetting everything about what had happened. She was carefully stroking over her back, over her hair, waiting for her sobs to become silent, for her breath to slowly normalize.
“I’ll be gone by tomorrow night,“ Bellatrix said eventually, after hours had passed, her voice still husky. But Narcissa shook her head. “No,“ she answered. “You’ll stay. I have not forgiven you yet, Bella, but I will, I promise you I will. We’ll go through this together.“
She came to look after her every night. Bringing her potion, watching over her sleep and holding her hand until she fell asleep herself. Dreamt of how it would be if she had lost her. Dreamt of how desperately she would try to cope, of how empty her life would be...
She’d not be able to go on without her sister, not even after she had hurt her more than a curse or a knife would ever be able to. And she’d forgive her. Of course she’d forgive her, like she always forgave her. Everything. She’d help her go through all this, would help her leaving the past behind. Would help her survive.
Because ebony and ivory would stay together, not matter about what happened. Would stay together forever.
